As you know, there are 5 stages in grief.
Right now I am in the fuck this shit phase so I don't really know where to categorize myself.
So just let met tell you a story now
I, with my mother, just went to a clinic not far from my home to accompany my sister who wanted to get rid of her molar. That was my first time went to the clinic and I was quite surprised, the clinic operated 24/7, it wasn't so big but the rooms were air-conditioned, the waiting space was nice, and adding extra element to my surprise was the fact that it served to the people who had BPJS (health insurance from govt). My first assumption was whoever built and managed this clinic must be one hell of a rich man (this hasn't been confirmed nor denied 'til now).
It was a bit crowded when I got there, probably the timing. My sister went to the dental room, and I fell in love with the ambience. The walls were painted in soft pink, and the hotseat (ok sorry HAHA you know the seat that has the lamp and the faucet and the cup and the table) had dark pink on the head rest and so was the back rest of the dentist chair. The doctor was quite young, but not so young, probably still mid-20 --and here is the nice part-- she fucking wore a pair of fucking Wrangler jeans! Now that's the kind of doctor I can rely my taste on. Probably she had enough with all the celana bahan she had to wear during the college days. She was nice to my sister too, not the evil kind of doctor. Me gusta.
With all the quick and satisfying service, all my mom had to pay was IDR 70.000, even the general medication (not with specified doctors) would cost even less, around IDR 40.000. I regained hope in humanity seeing the clinic, people even would prefer to go there than to govt's Puskesmas.
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Anw I still want to cry myself to sleep again everytime I remember how everything crumbled down so effortlessly. How do I convince myself things are gonna be okay?
I had planned everything to details for the next many years and with this happened, my plan was ruined too. This is not okay.
