A. K. U.

Gue akan berada di masa transisi, antara masa senang-senangnya menikmati dan siap untuk melepas.

Gue sekarang masih menikmati whatever I have and I can do now, entah itu waktu luang yang (masih bisa) gue buang sia-sia hanya untuk kesenangan yang gak jelas, jabatan, kesadaran bahwa gue masih salah satu dari pasukan, temen-temen SMA gue, rak sepatu depan labkim, nyeker di koridor, daydreams, Pablue, podium, STUPA CUP, etc, etc.......

Sekarang waktu luang gue mulai terkikis, gara-gara O-Friends atau apapun yang harus jadi prioritas teratas, just months away until I call myself a part of peleton bantuan (in 2013 months feel like weeks, ya know?), bakal ada waktunya gue gak akan sering berinteraksi sama manusia because I'm too busy with books, gue akan lebih sering nongkrong di front office-nya OF instead of depan labkim/tiang/podium...

I love daydreaming. This may sound ridiculous but I like making a person in my head with such character and I create the perfect scenarios for her. It is in me. My love for writing grew from this daydreaming thing. There will come the time when I have no time to do it, to brainstorm about what to do with her, to feel the excitement that she does. Time will force me to slowly bury her. Just imagining this will happen is painful :"

Pablue is my journal's name, it is derived from "Pablo", a car's name in the movie "Cars", and since its cover is blue, it's "Pablue" then. I love writing, so, very much. I transform my thoughts into letters and feelings, and that's why what is written on here, Pablue, and my other journal is just 30% of what I really think becausee most stays in my head. Well, honestly what I write physically is just what I need to let out from my head, myself, because it may intoxicate my mind and make me a bad man, that's why most of my writings is about sadness, anger, and disappointment, even though I can assure you that you will find some laugh when you read my journal. Gue aja sekarang udah agak jarang nulis di Pablue, apalagi nanti-nanti................. God please let me find a way to keep me writing.

I am the worst when it comes to letting go.
I cried the loudest when my grandma passed away.
I always sobbed every time my hamster died.
I, until now, always feel empty whenever I remember whatever that used to be close to me, now it is miles away.
When others say, "It's okay we'll find something new", I will be the last one to ever think to say that.
Aduh.
Parah.