"Lo mau ambil apa?"
She usually will take a minute or two before answering to that very question.
"Belum tau nih, kayaknya mau FKM, hehehe"
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When she was little, her parents would ask her:
"Kamu mau jadi apa nanti?"
"Mau jadi dokter!"
They usually would take a minute or two before responding to that very answer.
"Terus mau jadi apa lagi?"
"Maunya jadi dokter aja."
Years go by.
Her parents still loved to ask her what does she want to be.
"Ntar mau jadi apa?"
"Jadi dokter, hehe."
"Kenapa sih pengen jadi dokter?"
A silence for seconds. She had never been good at expressing whatever she needed to.
She really, really wanted to say that she wanted to save people, go to places she had never been, to have her patient's family's smile after she cured the patient.
She just wanted to help.
"Gak papa, pengen aja."
She grew up.
Now she's way closer to the future more than she has ever been.
She ignored every future-related question.
She was being apathetic.
Then she realized she has to choose between the head and the heart.
"Gue mau FKM nih kayaknya, hehe"
Masih
