It's been a year since I ate a delicious hot bowl of soto at a small stall in front of a train station in Yogyakarta. It's been a year since my mood dropped because of the heavy luggage. Shallow, I know.
The time has come again, bitches.
See you in 2014.
Nicknames
Gue ngerasa gue hidup di lingkungan di mana nama panggilan temen-temen gue agak-agak kocak sama nama aslinya.
Sampe guru ofren gue ada yang bilang "Saya paling susah nginget nama anak-anak angkatan kalian."
Check this out.
Ayu K.: Yumil
Irena: Momod
Claudya: Menyo
Josh Kevin: Joke
Vallian Yuda: Gori (-_-)
Rezha Sabda: Abus
Rizky Adhitama: Uni (sampe detik ini, gue gatau kenapa dia dipanggil Uni, dia bukan orang Padang dan dia bukan cewek)
Samodero: Ado
Rifani: Mencong
Citra: Farcit
Irfan: Tomo, Domba
Angga Kurnia: Mupeng
Benedictus: Icus
Mirza: Aceng (kepanjangannya Anak CENGkareng, sebenernya basis Cengkareng banyak, tapi dia doang yang dipanggil gini :"))
Kelvin: Ahong, Cokin (you know, his eyes)
Ikhsan Alfarisy: Ican (so cute ryt)
DAN MASIH BANYAK LAGI, itu baru yang gue kenal banget.........
will be updated soon, darlas.
Masih
"Lo mau ambil apa?"
She usually will take a minute or two before answering to that very question.
"Belum tau nih, kayaknya mau FKM, hehehe"
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When she was little, her parents would ask her:
"Kamu mau jadi apa nanti?"
"Mau jadi dokter!"
They usually would take a minute or two before responding to that very answer.
"Terus mau jadi apa lagi?"
"Maunya jadi dokter aja."
Years go by.
Her parents still loved to ask her what does she want to be.
"Ntar mau jadi apa?"
"Jadi dokter, hehe."
"Kenapa sih pengen jadi dokter?"
A silence for seconds. She had never been good at expressing whatever she needed to.
She really, really wanted to say that she wanted to save people, go to places she had never been, to have her patient's family's smile after she cured the patient.
She just wanted to help.
"Gak papa, pengen aja."
She grew up.
Now she's way closer to the future more than she has ever been.
She ignored every future-related question.
She was being apathetic.
Then she realized she has to choose between the head and the heart.
"Gue mau FKM nih kayaknya, hehe"
Besok UTS Kimia.
And here I am.
Mehehehehe
Fak. Laptop gue ga bisa nulis accented letter lagi :"""""""
Terus sekarang kalo lagi ngetik suka tolol gitu.
I miss the old you, Lap. --stands for Laptop--
Still everyday I think about you
I know for a fact it's not your problem
If you change your mind
You'll find me hanging onto the place
Where the big blue sky collapse
That's for you, insensitive moron.
Aduh
Gue akan berada di masa transisi, antara masa senang-senangnya menikmati dan siap untuk melepas.
Gue sekarang masih menikmati whatever I have and I can do now, entah itu waktu luang yang (masih bisa) gue buang sia-sia hanya untuk kesenangan yang gak jelas, jabatan, kesadaran bahwa gue masih salah satu dari pasukan, temen-temen SMA gue, rak sepatu depan labkim, nyeker di koridor, daydreams, Pablue, podium, STUPA CUP, etc, etc.......
Sekarang waktu luang gue mulai terkikis, gara-gara O-Friends atau apapun yang harus jadi prioritas teratas, just months away until I call myself a part of peleton bantuan (in 2013 months feel like weeks, ya know?), bakal ada waktunya gue gak akan sering berinteraksi sama manusia because I'm too busy with books, gue akan lebih sering nongkrong di front office-nya OF instead of depan labkim/tiang/podium...
I love daydreaming. This may sound ridiculous but I like making a person in my head with such character and I create the perfect scenarios for her. It is in me. My love for writing grew from this daydreaming thing. There will come the time when I have no time to do it, to brainstorm about what to do with her, to feel the excitement that she does. Time will force me to slowly bury her. Just imagining this will happen is painful :"
Pablue is my journal's name, it is derived from "Pablo", a car's name in the movie "Cars", and since its cover is blue, it's "Pablue" then. I love writing, so, very much. I transform my thoughts into letters and feelings, and that's why what is written on here, Pablue, and my other journal is just 30% of what I really think becausee most stays in my head. Well, honestly what I write physically is just what I need to let out from my head, myself, because it may intoxicate my mind and make me a bad man, that's why most of my writings is about sadness, anger, and disappointment, even though I can assure you that you will find some laugh when you read my journal. Gue aja sekarang udah agak jarang nulis di Pablue, apalagi nanti-nanti................. God please let me find a way to keep me writing.
I am the worst when it comes to letting go.
I cried the loudest when my grandma passed away.
I always sobbed every time my hamster died.
I, until now, always feel empty whenever I remember whatever that used to be close to me, now it is miles away.
When others say, "It's okay we'll find something new", I will be the last one to ever think to say that.
Aduh.
Parah.
Pemanasan *lari keliling lapangan 78*
First of all, SELAMAT LEBARAN GUISE!!
Mohon maaf atas kesalahan langsung/tidak langsung, sengaja/tidak sengaja, jahat/kurang jahat yang selama ini sudah pernah gue lakukan O:)
Mohon maaf juga judulnya jayus :"(
Tadi gue di-sms Pie, and guess what it said? Besok latihan jam setengah 7. Pagi.
Rasanya mau langsung kubur diri aja.
Aduh terus keinget belum ngerjain pr matematika ratusan nomor sama sekali.
Ngerti pun enggak.
I think I need to reconsider about this kubur diri plan.
Beli tanah 1x2 yang murah dan strategis dan tidak rawan banjir di mana, ya?
Tenang. Ini baru awal semester. Wajar kalo masih ada yang gak ngerti.
Dan..... YA AMPUN UDAH JAM SEGINI?
Ok besok lanjut lagi ea.
Good night, pipol!
MY TWITTER ACCOUNT IS SUSPENDED! /DEAD/
AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH
-INSERT TITLE HERE-!!!!!!!!!!!!
My twitter behaved normally when I opened it this morning. But minutes later my timeline couldn't refresh and I couldn't tweet oh God nooooo
But my smart side of brain turned on itself and said "Let's go check to web"
and it's suspended, for real. Fuck.
Calm down! I decided to write a letter to Twitter about how kind and sweet and funny I am when it comes to Twitter. But I really am that kind of girl in real world, right?
I can understand if it's an accident by Twitter crews......but I know some accounts are suspended because a large group of people blocked them.
Who, would block or report me as spam. -- in large group? You are so mean :"(
I'm serious. It's become my life, it's even bigger since my TV broke and it became my only source of happiness and news and you took it as a joke. You don't understand the happy sense every time my timeline refresh and would bring new information --not matter how big or small--. I love Twitter. I love MY Twitter account. I don't want to lose you; my followers, AND MY FOLLOWINGS. OHMYGOD THEY'VE BEEN RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERY KNOWLEDGE I HAVE UNTIL THIS SECOND.
These days God taught me what not to take for granted; which is everything, anything.
Including my cyber world? Oh God, you're taking it too far.
Anyway Twitter said "We will respond your letter by sending email in a few days. But in some cases, it may take longer."
Good bye, world.
Pffftt 3 hari yang lalu bagi rapot tengah semester.
And it was a nice breakdown for me.
But a sentence lightens up my mood so easily
"Rapot tengah semester gak dipake buat SNMPTN"
What matters is how hard you will work your ass off to fix and improve it.
If later in the end you get better grades, nice.
If not, fuck your life.